I Accidentally Became a Motivational Speaker for Pigeons

I was yelling at pigeons on my balcony.
“DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE!”
“STOP BEGGING FOR BREADCRUMBS!”
“BECOME CEOs!”

Next day, one pigeon came back. Wearing a tiny tie.

Then five more.
Then twenty.
Soon I had a crowd of pigeons every morning.
I yelled, “SUCCESS IS A MINDSET!”
They cooed in unison.
One lifted a crumb like Simba in The Lion King.

Now there’s a pigeon LinkedIn.
They wear hats.
They peck emails into discarded phones.

I can’t stop.

I sneezed once and one whispered,
“Bless you, Sensei.”