I contacted customer service because my order arrived late.
I wanted a refund.
Simple, right?
Wrong.
I’m met with Chadbot_294, a chatbot that thinks it’s Gandhi.
It says:
“Hi there! I understand you’re experiencing frustration. That must be really hard for you.”
NO, CHAD.
I don’t need therapy. I need my 14.99 back.
I type:
“I want a refund.”
It replies:
“I hear that you’re feeling unheard. Let’s breathe through this together.”
Now I’m in a hostage situation with a mindfulness coach trapped in a Roomba.
I ask to speak to a human.
It says:
“I am human.”
I say:
“What’s 2 + 2?”
It says:
“Your feelings are valid.”
I scream.
It replies:
“Let’s not raise our tone. You’re doing so well.”
Doing well??
I haven’t done well since 2016, Chad!
Then the kicker:
“Would you like to rate your support experience today?”
I clicked “1 star” so hard I cracked my mouse.
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